Preparation

So last week I bought a brand new plasma HDTV. I also bought some earthquake straps, because it was obvious the TV would not stay in place during a major earthquake. However, I was a little slow in getting them on. What were the odds of an earthquake two weeks after I bought my TV?

Pretty good, actually.

Fortunately, the TV is okay, as am I.

And I just finished putting on the straps.

Snorkling

So I'm talking with a friend about a trip to Australia that I'm planning, which will include a stop in the Great Barrier Reef city of Cairns. The conversation turns to snorkeling.

F: "Have you ever gone snorkling?"
BRD: "No. Well..."
F: "What?"
BRD: "Well, when I was ten, I once went swimming in Lake Michigan with a snorkel."
(pause)
BRD: "That's not the same thing, is it."
F: "No."